Thanksgiving Break Venting Session

 My thanksgiving break was not relaxing one bit. I was stressed, worried, and sad. I tried hard to lift up my own spirits but that didn't work. I had so much work to complete and turn in and I pretty much did none of it. I am feeling very overwhelmed and feel like I need a break from the world and the stressors in my life. On thanksgiving I really slept until like 12:30 and got up made some breakfast ate and took a shower. My mom, sister and I didn't really know where we were going to go for the holiday seeing as we don't really have any family. My grandmother cooks food for herself and goes in her room shuts the door and watches her movies and talks to her friends on the phone. So, no family time there. We were going to go to my mother's boyfriend's moms house, but her roof caved in so she's staying in a hotel. So, no luck there. We decided that we were going to go with my older sister and her grandmother. Her family was gathering in one of those apartment complex halls. So, we ate and talked and shared what we were thankful for. It was decent. However, I was still feeling a bit down. That whole morning, I felt depressed for the simple fact that I really don't have family. It had me in my feelings. 

Happy Halloween

Growing up my family and I celebrated Halloween in a slightly different way from others. We would play games like Candy Land, Monopoly, and Matching games that my mom made we even carved pumpkins. It was fun for the most part. Now I have a niece and nephew to share that with. Although most kids go out and trick or treat, we stayed in and watched movies and played music. Later on in the night we painted the pumpkins we got from the pumpkin patch and let me tell you my nephew made the biggest mess, but it was fun. he literally painted his leg through his pants. His sister even decided she wanted to paint, LOL. After our painting session we let him break a piñata. At first, he didn't want to he just wanted to go into the little hole that you put the candy in. However, after much persuasion he started hitting it. It was too cute seeing him let his baby anger out on it, LOL. All in all,
it was fun. 

My Experience Witnessing Childbirth

 When I found out my sister was going into labor with my nephew I was pretty excited. I was ready to meet my nephew, after all he was the first. That night we were taking shifts sitting with her and counting how close her contractions were. It was my turn, and let me tell you it was not fun. I can't tell you how tired I was I don't exactly remember what time it was or how long I was laying with her. I do remember that she was gripping my jacket like her life depended on it and the fact that it was cold. 

    Eventually we made it into the hospital and for the first few hours I was sitting in the waiting area with my little sister waiting for the announcement that she was pushing. Time went by very slowly and I was tired but I didn't sleep. Eventually I was able to go back to the room and stay till after my nephew was born. In the room it was my sister boyfriend, my mom, and I. She was able to have three people in the room as she gave birth. When the time came for her to push I remember that everything went fast. The doctors rushed in and set up what they needed and got to work. I stood in the corner on the phone with her other sister just watching. All I heard was the doctors telling her to push and then I saw my nephew looking like a pale little alien. I was happy and crying. It was a beautiful experience. Although it happened so fast I remember every single detail, and when my nephew gets older I will tell him how his YaYa cried looking at his little ugly baby face. LOL. 

Worry

 

Lately I have been in a little rut. I feel like I could do better with my time but I have zero motivation to do anything. Honestly I think that is what it boils down to, no motivation. I want to have money to do some more of the things I want to do, however I no motivation to work. It's like a never ending cycle. I have been thinking and I feel like I need to make a plan for myseld to do better and make sure I am getting good grades and keeping them up. I don't want to fail and I feel like I won't, but I see myself on a path where I won't succeed. I don't want nor do I need that. So in order for me to reach the level of success want to achieve I will schedule out my days and follow that schedule. I have manifest and speak what I want into existence. From here on out I will think positive!

College vs. High School

I kind of already knew that high school and college was different, and I was right. In my experience so far it is very refreshing to know that college is less stressful than high school. In high school there is a lot more stress, not just with school work, but with finding your friend group and living up to other people's expectations. The stress if your teacher's, peers, and parents is a lot to deal with as a teenager. In college its all up to you and people don't judge you, at least not openly and in your face. Yeah college is a lot of work but all those other factors in high school are eliminated. However in college you are an ADULT and there are new problems. Balancing work and school is hard and some work places may or may not work with your work schedule. The only thing for me is that I am a huge procrastinator and the work will pile up on you and no one will hold your hand and tell you "hey this assignment is due soon". Teachers will not sit and hold your hand like they do in high school so you have to stay on top of your work. All in all college isn't bad but its not easy either. You have your work cut out for you when you attend college.

 

Aunty Life

Life as an aunt is amazing and I love it. Having a niece, nephew, or both is like having a tiny child that you and return. So far I have a niece (Ayasha 10 months) and a nephew (Ayden 1). They are amazing. With my nephew I was there at the hospital in the room when my sister gave birth. It was an amazing experience, I even cried! When I found out my sister was pregnant I wouldn't say I was happy but when he was born I was overly happy. Every time he was around I always had him and no I did not share! As he got bigger and started to walk he got into everything. He would be babbling and I would engage in conversation like I knew what he was saying. Now he's almost two and runs the whole house, lol. Ayasha at first it took some time to get used to a new baby when Ayden was still a baby himself, now she's starting to walk and and get inti everything just like her brother. I can already tell that she will definitely have a strong personality and she likes to hit. I never knew how hard babies could slap people until she hit me in that face, lol. I love my niece and nephew so much. I can't wait till they get older so they can have days with YaYa (me). I can day that I wouldn't trade being an aunt for anything. I loves those babies. 

Ayden's Takeover

     

This blog is a lotta bit late but I'm gonna do it anyway. So This week was pretty good, boring pretty much. Woke up went to school and back home the whole week. Since I don't have any classes on Friday's my mom and I decided that we were gonna keep my nephew. That boy is a hand full he will wreak your house if you let him. So on Thursday his mother dropped him off to us and he began his reign of terror. He played himself silly and didn't want to watch anything other than Umi Zoomi and Bubble Guppies. At the moment his favorite show is Umi Zoomi. and he will scream 'Super Shapes' to the top of his lungs. My nephew is a busy body but I love him. This particular night he had a late nap and decided that he was not going to sleep until two in the morning, and when he finally did go to sleep he still terrorized me, lol. Now I only have a twin bed and there's pretty much only enough space for me so that should hint a little to how the night went. At one point in the night he kicked me in the throat. Safe to say I almost died. Now that he has pretty much take over my bed and my pillow I am laying on a teddy bear. I sit my head up for one second and the child has my bear/pillow (as seen in the picture above). Me being the AMAZING aunt I am let him have it and go back to sleep with no pillow. All in all he is Amazing and I love him even if he does still my pillows. 

Sister, Sister, Sister

I Love being a sister but gosh I want to hurt them sometimes. I am the second oldest of three girls. LaKiah (24), LaNiya (me19), and NaKiyah (16). Now don't get me wrong being the middle child sucks sometimes but it also has its advantages. I like the fact that I can identify with both me sister and that they both can talk to me in confidence. I have to say that we have a close relationship in my opinion. Although we are close and I love them both dearly they get on my ever loving nerves. LaKiah, she is loud and talks way to much for my liking, and then she like to get mad at me because I'm mad at her because she made me mad. Like what kind of sense does that make. NaKiyah, goodness that child has an attitude problem and bet nobody say anything to her cause she will go off on you. So if I'm mad I will stay away from her cause we will end up arguing. We've has many ups and downs but at the end of the day we will have each other's backs. Unlike LaKiah I would not trade them form anything, lol (on Facebook she said she would trade

 me for a million dollars jokingly of course).

Getting a Life

 

So I feel like I have no life and I feel like I need to get one. I have made a pact with myself that I will get out more and make more friends and go out and have fun. I have always had a small struggle with having a life. Don't get me wrong I have a few close friends, but we don't talk everyday and we don't hang out all the time. I want to go out and have fun and party without a care like normal young adults. The fact that I have friends does not mean that I have a life. I sit in the house and go home that is it and that is all. 

    My problem is that I have a problem with my social meter. I like to be around people and socialize but when I get tired of people I get angry and I want to be left alone, and that is my problem. I dislike people a lot and they annoy me ninety percent of the time. So in order for my to have a life I have to work within my self and stop my strong dislike towards the human race.  

Documentary Project: Cartel Land; Guided Refection Questions

  1. Was there a specific scene that got to you? Describe and explain how it moved you (Angry? Curious? Delighted? Motivated?). Give a lot of detail, and really dive in to how it affected you. Don’t hold back.

    -A specific scene that got to me was that there was a man lying dead in the street. There was blood everywhere and people were just standing around. This made me very upset, seeing that people could be so ruthless. There were a few concerned/sad people but it seemed as if people did not care. Seeing that type of scene made my mind roll, seeing that didn't sit right in my heart. It felt like the people who killed and stood around this mans body had no respect for him. I don't care about who did what no one should be treated in such a way. I felt kind of sick seeing how people could have no regard for another persons life. They had no problem shooting that man killing him, did they even think about who could have been waiting for him to return home. No one should have the power to take someone's life without being threatened with their life. I just can't there was so much unnecessary violence. This documentary really opened my eyes to the amount of chaos going on in Mexico.  

2. What surprised you? Why do you think it caught you off guard?

    -What I was very surprised by was how insensitive and unapologetic the cartel crews were, and how eventually the vigilantes went dark. What also shocked me was that not everyone is not who they say they are. Towards the end of the movie the leader of the vigilante group was kicked out. I learned that he was cheating on his wife and that he didn't live by what he preached. Hearing and seeing this information made me think did he really care about the people or did he just want power. Watching this made me realize that no matter what there will always be bad people in the world. 

3. What questions remain after the viewing? What feelings stayed with you after the film? Did they “pop up” in your life in unexpected ways? When? How? What was that like?

    -The only feeling that I had after watching this movie was sadness. I have always been a sensitive person and I saw how the cartels did not care who they came after. I didn't like the fact that the cartel crews, even the vigilantes went after innocent people. I feel like people want to help to make the world a better place but should not put themselves and their families in dangerous situations to do so. Think about it if people didn't want drugs there wouldn't be any cartels, however that isn't the case. 

4. Why might we avoid including research in our summaries? What could go wrong?

    -We might not include research in our summaries because it gives information that is not necessarily included in the documentary. Including research in a summary can possibly create a bias about the subject.   

My Very First Post

Hello my name is LaNiya Jackson.

 This is my very first blog and my very first post. In this post I will talk a little bit about myself and address my first week as a college freshman. Over the summer all I thought about was how hard college is and how hard the first day would have been. However I was wrong, at least about the first day.

So a few things to know about me is that one I am not an open person when you meet me. I will engage in a conversation only if I have to or if someone has spoken to me. After I fe
el comfortable with people, that is when I open up. Even then I am not a very talkative person. A few things that I like to do are to cook, read, and to do hair. I like coloring and listening to music. My favorite color is purple. A few things that I don't like are hearing people chewing, improper grammar (EX: 'I likeded that song.' or 'She had made some cookies'). Last but not least I DO NOT like being touched.

I feel as if I am a nice person and that I have a good attitude on a day-to-day basis. However I do have my days when my attitude is not the best, everyone does. Inside my home I live with my mom, grandma, and little sister. Outside the household there is my older sister and my niece and nephew. Lastly there is my father. Pretty small but I love them to death. Anyways enough about me on to my first week of college.    

On Monday August 23, 2021 at 12:00PM I left home for my first day of class. My first class was statistics and I only had one other class which was First year experience. My classes went by fast and easy. I didn't really have any problems. The next day was pretty much the same only I had three classes instead of two. Within the first two days I liked meeting my teachers and seeing the campus. Yesterday and today went the same however it was now time to start lessons and assignments. 

All in all the first week was good and wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be in the beginning. I hope all my readers like hearing about my uncertain life as a college freshman.